Cocktails and Tarot Cards at LFW

Though you can find this piece on Rediff.com as well, it's a slightly censored version. Here's the original.

I sauntered into the media centre, in a great mood. The day had been long and hard, but the interview with one of the designers had gone brilliantly, and I had once again re-discovered how much I like gay people. Since I had time to relax and unwind for a bit before getting on the ball again, I decided to check out the Skoda Lounge. Pretty pretty models all around and the men all sporting six packs made me feel rather frumpy in my jeans and chappals. But then I'm the media- and the media is forgiven almost anything, right? So I walked in, got myself a nice cool drink and thankfully sank into one of the bean bags that had just been vacated by a model so tiny, she could have fit into my lovely long-stemmed glass!
Anyway, so I sit there and take a long cool sip while surveying the scene around me. I see the model Sahil Shroff, munching on finger food by the door, I see the M.D. of Skoda, Mr. Thomas Kuehl chatting with some young girls from the media, I see the bartender pouring a freshly made cocktail into a tall glass with a flourish and I see our photographer furiously clicking pictures, trying to capture the essence of what the Skoda Lounge stood for and offered.

Above the hubbub of "lounge-noise", I overhear a conversation.
"Ask a question."
He shakes his head. "I don't have any questions."
She looks at the cards and takes a long look at him. "You have been waiting a long time?"
"For what?" he asks.
"Your cards tell me a good time is coming up next year. It will be very beneficial for you. Hmm...ok, ask a question. These are question cards."
He concedes. "Okay...will I make lots of money?"

I turn around curiously and discover that it's exactly what it sounds like. I was watching the Tarot card reader at the Skoda Lounge at work. What's a tarot reader doing at the Lakme Fashion Week, you ask? Well, according to Mr. Thomas Kuehl, the Managing Director of Skoda, "Fashion is about future trends; you have to be ahead of the others, and it's about the feel-good factor. A fortune teller gives you a look into the future and also a good feeling, isn't it? Also, it's fun to have your cards read. And India is a spiritual country; a fortune teller fits right into the scheme of things." It's unique logic, but it works. The poor lady barely has time to catch her breath before the next person sits down in front of her, eagerly waiting to draw some cards. Young, upcoming designer Kunal Rawal has designed the Lounge, giving it an out-doorsy feel, while retaining the relaxed pub-like atmosphere of a lounge. The walls have photographs of women and the spare parts of a Skoda, as well as artworks from Kunal's own collection. Fauz green plastic leaves hanging from all nooks and crannies, green lights that cast a greenish glow on everything that enters the lounge and a DJ who obligingly plays the latest greatests makes this Lounge a happening place to put your feet up for a few minutes before the bell goes off and yet another fashion show starts.
Mr. Kuehl is very clear about the objective of the Lounge. He says, "The Lakme Fashion Week is a stressful event; there needs to be some place where people can relax and chill out after having run around all day. The Lounge serves to bring people from all spheres together and celebrate like a family. But after 5 pm, only people with passes are allowed." Though I can safely say that this rule is not strictly enforced. It pretty much depends on which hostess is at the door and how elitist she wants to be.

So if you're one of those who find yourself at the Lounge, grab a seat and look around. See that bunch of models by the DJ console? They're pissed because one of the biggest designers dropped them in favour of a bunch of nobodies. And see those slinkily dressed hostesses at the door? They decide whether you'll be let in tomorrow or not. And the bartender? He's just happy to make you a cocktail and watch you sip it appreciatively. Take my advice, and step in for a cranberry cocktail, make small talk with a model or designer, listen to the gossip that will invariably make its way to you, and watch the Pradas and Versaces sashay in and out, and savour the essence of the Lakme Fashion Week. As it is, and as it should be.

Maid Woes

A good maid is worth her weight in gold. -Mojo
Mine certainly isn’t. She saunters in at noon and if she finds me at home, I get a pained look. Almost like I’ve somehow managed to wound her. A look that anticipates correctly all the dusty corners that will be pointed out to her, all the spots on the floor she will have to scrub and the tables that will have to be thoroughly wiped down.
The biggest bone of contention between the two of us is "dusting." She is convinced that it’s not part of her job, and I am convinced that it is. Then there are the clothes. If I don’t soak them beforehand, she will refuse to wash them. Or will do it while muttering all the things she would like to do to me under her breath. On my part, I make sure that when I’m home, I follow her around to make sure all the corners are cleaned, clothes washed, cabinet and tabletops wiped clean of the famous sticky Bombay grime.
Now don’t you go feeling sorry for her- she's quite capable of getting her own back. In the name of revenge, there are taps that are mysteriously left open (leading to me getting yelled at by the other building residents who share the water tank), lights that somehow turn themselves on after she's left and windows that wait for her to leave and then cleverly creak open on their own, letting in dust and sometimes creepy crawlies.

Ah, for a good maid! All my kingdom for a good maid!

Smoke-free country

So what do you guys think about the new no-smoking ban? I’m a smoker, so I’m not too happy about it. But then again, I’m a 25 year old smoker, so I’m kinda getting to the I’ve-smoked-enough-in-my-life-and-I-really-should-quit-now stage.
In principle, though, I don’t agree with the concept of shrinking a group of people’s space so that they are forced to adopt a kind of behaviour that’s favourable to you.
Yes, I know smoking harms others too blah blah blah. But then go on and ban cigarettes altogether. Why wont you? ‘Cuz empty pockets are no fun now, are they?
The other day I went out clubbing. Hardcore Blue Frog till the wee hours of the morning kind of clubbing. It was 3rd October and the no smoking rule was being strictly followed. That huge expanse of space, alcohol flowing everywhere you looked, DJ spinning electronic and trance….and not one cigarette in the house. I kid you not. If you tried to light up, someone from the management would find before you reached the halfway mark, and make you put it out. Or leave. Yes, they would stand right there until you did either of the two.
Right at the entrance of the club were tables…and ashtrays. That’s where you went for your nicotine fix. The tables for your drinks and the ashtrays for your butts. I swear, if the weather was even a wee bit better, I would have spent the entire night there, going in only for the bar. So what ended up happening because of the ban was rather unexpected and pleasant. First, since we kept going out for smoke breaks, we could actually hold conversations with one another. As opposed to chugging our drinks, grinning idiotically at one other’s antics on the dance floor and screaming to be heard. The other good thing that happened was the next morning. After nights like these, I always wake up with a scratchy throat and a tongue that feels thick and furry. Not this time. The throat was A-okay and the tongue…well…but that was because of the booze, not cigarettes.
So I patted myself on the back and felt very proud. 4 cigarettes through a night that was 5 hours long. AND there were drinks. And dancing on tables. So to celebrate, I pulled out a well deserved cigarette and lit up. And another. And another.
Whoa! It was like binging after being on a diet. I tried to stop, but sooner or later a friend would light up, and the next thing I knew, I was puffing hard.

So I’m confused. I don’t know whether this ban is going to be good for me or not. After all, I can and do smoke at home. And having quite a few solitary pursuits, I end up spending quite a bit of time at home. With my laptop, books, coffee and smokes. Oh well. Time will tell. In the meanwhile, we protect the pipes when outdoors and burn them up at home.