Singles in the City

So here I find myself- on the brink of yet another move- back to Delhi this time, to live with the folks. While it's great to be home and not have to worry about incompetent maids, what to do about dinner, and stuff like that, there is a lot to be said for living alone. A lot of stuff that I'll really miss.

So, taking stock of the past year, I thought it would be apt to post this piece I wrote some time ago before I make the move.

Singles in the City
When I tell anyone who’s old enough to be my Uncle or Aunt I’m single and live alone in Mumbai, their brows furrow with worry and their first question is always, “What do you do about food?” And if I confirm their worst fear and say I don’t cook (yes, guys, it is possible to live on "outside food"), they immediately invite me for lunch/dinner/breakfast, pack some sandwiches and cold cuts in a plastic zip bag or wrap up some homemade cake for me, and send me trotting off, clutching my goodie bag.

While I am usually pleased as punch at being on the receiving end of homemade goodies, I do try to tell them that it’s not necessary- I really don’t mind depending on the neighbourhood Subway for late Sunday brunches and the local fast food joints around the corner for a late-night dosa.

Younger people, on the other hand, react in a completely different way. There have been envious sighs, glances of admiration, and yes, on more than one occasion, there has been a subtle, “Is your landlord cool?” which in party-speak means, “Can we have a party there sometime?”

And then there’s the third category- the kindred spirit. This is either a very good friend, or a fellow young single non-Mumbaikar who lives in a rented home like you do, and gets both the raw and sweet end of the deal, just as you do. This one usually reacts with a grin and a nod. The grin which says, “Good for you- you’re really doing it,” and the nod which says, “Been there, done that; I know how it is.”

So we hold hands, form a support group of these kindred spirits and wade through the trials of pest control, incompetent bais, unreasonable landlords, food crisis, broke days and homesickness together. These people exist on our speed dial lists, our weekend plans and forgotten hair clips or T-shirts in our houses.

We also happily make our way through the sweet end of the deal of no curfews or worried parents, having multiple houses to sleep at, depending on which part of town Saturday night saw you, and the freedom to host the sort of parties no parent would approve of, at a moment’s notice.

So while the incompetent bais, unreasonable landlords, food crisis, broke days and homesickness are very real and very daunting aspects of being Single in the City, the upsides more than make up for it.
Apart from the seemingly frivolous freedoms of partying, living alone gives you the very solid lesson of independence. It teaches you that shit happens, it’s not personal and at the end of the day, you gotta learn to let the troubles slide off you and move on.

It teaches you that vada pavs often make a great dinner when you’ve been too lazy too arrange for anything better, that rats climbing up the drainpipe and scampering around your bedroom are VERY scary when you’re alone, that cranky landlords can be Satan reincarnated and that to make it from one day to the next with your sanity intact, you need your kindred souls on your speed dial list and preferably in the neighbourhood.

So while I appreciate the packets of food and dinner invitations, my life-line would have to be the hands I hold in times of crisis and I-don’t-know-what-to-do! The family that Singles need to find away from home to keep their heads above the water.