Women in Bars: Is it worth it?
Today, I was writing an article on date rape for rediff.com, which got me thinking about the subject. Scarily enough, we all seem to know someone who has gotten into some kind of trouble over drinks, with friends or acquaintances.
While I have to admit I’ve been hugely lucky, having side stepped any serious problems, there was one instance when a guy I’d met for the first time tried to drop a pill into my glass. Luckily, I saw him do it, and asked for a fresh drink.
I don’t like to imagine what might have happened if I hadn’t turned in time to see that!
Anyway, as I was writing the article, I was talking to various people to see what they felt about the issue. As people loosened up and started talking about the stories they have witnessed, each one of them mentioned the need for women to protect themselves. To make sure they didn’t go out with people they didn’t know, to stick to public places, watch their drinks at all times…
The more people I spoke to, the more it became evident that women didn’t feel completely safe anywhere. In any setting. With anyone. And in protecting themselves, there are so many restrictions that they place upon themselves, or their parents place upon them, that it almost doesn’t seem worth the trouble to go out!
We women watch what we wear even when we go to a nightclub. We make advance arrangements to get home after a party. And now, we watch our drinks like hawks. Instead of enjoying the party, maybe dancing and having a few drinks, we end up warily scanning the area around us and our drinks to make sure all’s well. We mentally analyse statements made by people we may not know too well. “Another drink?” could just as easily be interpreted as, “I’m trying to get you drunk.” If a woman is forced to continually watch her back even when supposedly having a good time, she is forced to ask herself, “What's even the point?”
Pramod Muthalik thinks we don’t belong in bars. We disagree. But if our men are going to prove him right, it doesn’t leave us with much of an argument.
While I have to admit I’ve been hugely lucky, having side stepped any serious problems, there was one instance when a guy I’d met for the first time tried to drop a pill into my glass. Luckily, I saw him do it, and asked for a fresh drink.
I don’t like to imagine what might have happened if I hadn’t turned in time to see that!
Anyway, as I was writing the article, I was talking to various people to see what they felt about the issue. As people loosened up and started talking about the stories they have witnessed, each one of them mentioned the need for women to protect themselves. To make sure they didn’t go out with people they didn’t know, to stick to public places, watch their drinks at all times…
The more people I spoke to, the more it became evident that women didn’t feel completely safe anywhere. In any setting. With anyone. And in protecting themselves, there are so many restrictions that they place upon themselves, or their parents place upon them, that it almost doesn’t seem worth the trouble to go out!
We women watch what we wear even when we go to a nightclub. We make advance arrangements to get home after a party. And now, we watch our drinks like hawks. Instead of enjoying the party, maybe dancing and having a few drinks, we end up warily scanning the area around us and our drinks to make sure all’s well. We mentally analyse statements made by people we may not know too well. “Another drink?” could just as easily be interpreted as, “I’m trying to get you drunk.” If a woman is forced to continually watch her back even when supposedly having a good time, she is forced to ask herself, “What's even the point?”
Pramod Muthalik thinks we don’t belong in bars. We disagree. But if our men are going to prove him right, it doesn’t leave us with much of an argument.
posted by Mojo | 5:55 AM
4 Comments:
i agree with you on most of the things you have said but this interpretation of "another drink? to i want to get you drunk" is a little far fetched. i mean a lot of people just ask without any ill intentions.
"To make sure they didn’t go out with people they didn’t know,..."
Statistics show that most rape cases occur with known people involved!
The question is should you do it or not? Illusions says, "Hell Yes! If no, consider the moving to the Swat valley."
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No doubt we live in a chauvinistic society. But to generalise everyone in the same category is definitely unfair.
The fact is that most men now are trying to break away from the dogma. But the Muthaliks of their times have always been there, and will always be there. We live in a society which thrives on balance. So for every bad there is always a good.
This one of yours gives an impression of generalisation.
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