Its Disney Day!

Here, at NIIT, today is what they call Disney Day. That means everyone has something to do with Disney decorating their workstations, as well as themselves. There are balloons all over, not to mention the streamers. Reds, blues, yellows, oranges….you name it! People everywhere are wearing Disney character masks. Some might call it juvenile, and I might be tempted to agree with them as well, but I cannot deny the effect it has had on lifting my mood.
And the weather! The weather has been pretty damn kind; it’s been raining all day. I came in to office about an hour ago, and have barely spent 10 minutes at my workstation. How could I? Everything looks so exciting. If I’m not in the balcony watching the rains, or having a chat with someone, I’m wandering about by myself, loving the splash of colours.
There is laughter in the air and everyone is having a great time decorating the office and themselves. There is what I can only describe as a zing in the air. Is it my imagination? Possibly; but in that case I wish it were a permanent feature.
It’s impossible to be in a bad mood on a day like this. After all, life is beautiful, and its days like these that remind me of the fact!

Nature's Law

The other day i went shopping. I knew exactly what i wanted to buy, and went with the intention of picking up those things only. Now, as is nature's law, i couldn't find a single one of the items on my list. And if i did find them, they were extremely poor specimens. It was a very frustrated Insi who returned home that evening.
The next day, i went out to have lunch with a friend, and while in GK 1 M-Block market, i suddenly saw in shop windows all the things i couldn't find the previous day!
Ever wondered how, when you misplace your car keys, you can just never find them....untill you give up and flop into a chair, only to find that you're sitting on them?
I have a friend. The poor girl has been single for the longest time, and is now desperate to hook a guy. She's sweet, funny, attractive but no guy wants to go on a second date with her. On the other hand, her best friend is just too busy enjoying single life, and couldn't be bothered with a man right now. It's amazing how many men flock around her!
Isn't that just nature's law? You never find a thing when you're looking for it, and the moment you stop looking...BAM! In Your Face!

Who we admire

About 3 months ago, one of my mother’s friends discovered a lump in her breast. She has been a heavy smoker all her life, and there is a history of cancer in her family. So when she discovered this lump, she totally freaked out. I remember taking her for her biopsy, during which she couldn’t stop shaking, and refused to let go of my hand. Imagine her plight when she was diagnosed with cancer, and was told that it had spread too much for them to be able to save her breast! After the tests, we went out for lunch, and then she asked me to get her a cigarette. That was the last one i saw her smoke. She has never smoked after that. It has been 3 months and she hasn’t touched another cigarette.
After the surgery, began the traumatic procedure of chemotherapy. She travels to Bombay every month for her therapy. Not only has she lost all her hair and her breast, but her immunity has decreased to an astonishing level. She cannot eat non vegetarian food (which was her staple diet before the cancer), she cannot drink more than a glass of wine a week, and she has to take immense care of herself. None of which is a big deal normally; but when I see a 55 year old woman, having lived her life a certain way, now having to live in a completely different way, I can’t help but admire her for it. I can’t help admiring her when she walks proudly in a crowded street, amidst gawking strangers without bothering to cover her bald head….or when she wakes up at the crack of dawn to do her yoga, or when she reacts to uncalled-for remarks from strangers by not reacting.
When we think about people we admire, we rarely refer to these real life examples each of us have seen or heard about. I wonder why. I also wonder why when we think about the people we admire, we automatically think of Mahatma Gandhi, or Nelson Mandela, or our parents, even though they might have done nothing more remarkable than bringing us up. Why don’t we think about these people who have fought battles far more terrifying than most of us can begin to imagine?
Have we been conditioned to answer these questions in a particular way? If that is true, then it scares me. I dislike the idea of being conditioned to answer questions in a way that curbs my own thinking process. Or is it that we only give these people a fleeting thought, and don’t give them their due, because their battles don’t affect us in any way? If that is true, then it disturbs me, because I don’t like the idea of being insensitive and blind to the courage of others.

At Bhowali

This weekend was amazingly wonderful. I had gone to Bhowali (which is about 15 minutes off Nainital) and I cannot begin to explain the relief I experienced at being away from the heat of Delhi as well as the daily issues of my life. It was almost like having an alter identity; one that is not plagued with any of the nagging doubts or problems that my other existence is. I remember sitting in the porch with a cup of hot coffee, wondering whether I should go back at all or not. After all, why couldn’t I live in the hills for a while, earning my livelihood there? Then, if I felt the need to earn more, meet the people I had left behind or for any other reason, return, I easily could. Why is it so difficult for any of us to leave the known, which is essentially our comfort zone and put out roots elsewhere? We all admire the people who can just pack up and take off, yet we hesitate to be those people.

I am sitting on that same porch, this time with a glass of litchi squash. I can hear music from the house. “Oh my love, my darling, I hunger for your touch….” Unchained Melody. I enjoy the song; it holds many special memories for me. Some beautiful, some painful. The song ends, and I prepare to think. But that is not to be. “Oh Susanna, don’t you cry for me, I’ve come from Alabama with a banjo on my knee.” Though that is another song I quite like, I’m unable to concentrate on it. A fleeting thought comes and goes: Why are most of the songs/poems ever composed on the subject of love? What is so great about love? Why don’t we write more about happiness, spirituality, survival of the great and spirited? And if we do have to pay so much importance to love, then why it does it have to be the love between a man and woman? Why don’t we write and sing more about the love between friends, between siblings, between children and their parents? What is it about non-platonic love that has been and will be fascinating generation upon generation? My litchi squash is almost over, and I prepare to go back inside the house, when suddenly the answer strikes me. The reason for this seemingly strange fascination is the fact that non-platonic love, the way we see it and want it, is the most coveted yet most rare form of love. And the reason for this is that we don’t recognize true love when we have it, and are always hankering after the kind of love that we perceive to be true. None of the famous love songs or poems are, in fact a correct depiction of true love, and a desire for just that kind of love is our downfall. Another reason for this fascination is the unfathomable fact that something which brings us so much joy at one time can bring us a sorrow that is tenfold at another time. Which brings me to the question I’ve been trying to but haven’t been able to answer since the past year and a half: Is it worth it??