Permanence
Marriage- the one relationship that is supposed to be the most permanent of them all. United for life; a sacred union; till death do us part, etc etc. None of the other relationships a person has in life are meant to be as permanent (though they might be far more important to the person in question, I might add).
The irony of the situation is that these days hardly anyone gets into a relationship with the idea of getting married and making it last forever. The common thought process seems to be one of trying things out, seeing if they work, and then taking it from there. And even then there are no guarantees. Divorce is a very real, very often considered option. A far cry from what things used to be like just a generation ago.
And then comes the concept of moral degeneration. A divorced person is “damaged goods.” A society which has a high rate of divorce is considered morally corrupt, and one which holds nothing sacred. Well, how about looking at marriages around us...even the so-called happy ones, where the couples insist that they are happy together. Every so often, you will realize that they may be together, but only because they choose not to consider another option that might make them happier. Is that morally commendable? I’m not sure it is.
Now let’s consider the couple who has spent some extremely happy years together, but with time, have realized that they have grown apart and have nothing in common anymore. If they choose to let go of their comfort zone and venture out in search of something that makes them truly happy again, they would definitely be doing something that requires a lot of courage. Though the ride wouldn’t be smooth, at least they would have tried.
How do we define a “successful marriage?” One that has lasted as long as one of the partners is no longer alive. What is not taken into consideration is the question of happiness, fulfillment, love and respect. A successful marriage, to my mind, is one where both partners gain these things in the relationship, irrespective of how long it lasted.
I cannot deny that a fulfilling lifelong relationship is preferable to shorter, more exciting ones, but at the same time, is this change in mindset a bad thing? Who told us that marriage must be for life and why do we believe them? Why is it that we are so slow to question the things that are going to impact our lives the most?
The irony of the situation is that these days hardly anyone gets into a relationship with the idea of getting married and making it last forever. The common thought process seems to be one of trying things out, seeing if they work, and then taking it from there. And even then there are no guarantees. Divorce is a very real, very often considered option. A far cry from what things used to be like just a generation ago.
And then comes the concept of moral degeneration. A divorced person is “damaged goods.” A society which has a high rate of divorce is considered morally corrupt, and one which holds nothing sacred. Well, how about looking at marriages around us...even the so-called happy ones, where the couples insist that they are happy together. Every so often, you will realize that they may be together, but only because they choose not to consider another option that might make them happier. Is that morally commendable? I’m not sure it is.
Now let’s consider the couple who has spent some extremely happy years together, but with time, have realized that they have grown apart and have nothing in common anymore. If they choose to let go of their comfort zone and venture out in search of something that makes them truly happy again, they would definitely be doing something that requires a lot of courage. Though the ride wouldn’t be smooth, at least they would have tried.
How do we define a “successful marriage?” One that has lasted as long as one of the partners is no longer alive. What is not taken into consideration is the question of happiness, fulfillment, love and respect. A successful marriage, to my mind, is one where both partners gain these things in the relationship, irrespective of how long it lasted.
I cannot deny that a fulfilling lifelong relationship is preferable to shorter, more exciting ones, but at the same time, is this change in mindset a bad thing? Who told us that marriage must be for life and why do we believe them? Why is it that we are so slow to question the things that are going to impact our lives the most?
posted by Mojo | 1:30 AM
2 Comments:
Nothing is meant to be forever! But at the same time, there has to be a reason for the woes that you take. Don't make the wrong promises to yourself and to the other person. That's all!
There i agree with you. Promises made and then not kept is just plain unfair. And dishonest to an extent.
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